Update on me

Today marks the three month anniversary of my pulmonary embolism. I woke up thinking about it this morning. I still get panicked when I dwell on it for very long. I think that I could have died. I think about my children being raised by someone else. I think about my husband having to take care of a 10 day old baby by himself. I think about the pain I experienced, worse than any pain I have ever experienced before. Many times while it was happening I wished that I could just stop breathing because then it wouldn't hurt so much. There were even many times in the 2 weeks after it happened that I wished the Lord would have just let me die because the recovery was so difficult.

I still have to take narcotics about once a week for pain relief. Thats much better than it used to be. At two weeks past I was taking them round the clock. At one month after I had cut back to 3 a day. At two months I was taking them about 3-4 times a week. I think I still tire easier than I normally would have at this point postpartum but it is improving quickly. I find myself having to catch my breathe at wierd times like when I'm just sitting doing paper work but I hear that isn't unusual.

There are so many things it will affect long term. At three months old, my baby is just now getting 100% breastmilk. Until now, even though I knew I had plenty of milk, I still needed the rest that letting dh give her a bottle gave me. I don't like the fact that she had to be on formula for the first three months of her life. What repercussions will that bring later on for her? Who knows, maybe nothing. Many people these days have done just fine on only formula. I just never imagined that I would ever have to use it. She sleeps in a crib. My babies usually sleep with me. I started out that way with her but because of the narcotics I started putting her in a crib next to me. After I was able to cut back on the narcotics she would sleep all night whether I slept with her or not but I can't anymore. If I want her to sleep all night it has to be in her crib. If she sleeps with me she wakes up 3 or 4 times to eat.

She is such a sweet baby! So happy and easy to care for. Granted she likes to nurse about every half hour and gets gas tummy aches when I eat something that doesn't agree with us but she is not a colicky baby by any means. She really likes her fists these days and has teeth coming in the very near future. Several people think I should put her on cereal so that she doesn't eat so often but with our family's sensitivies towards rice and oatmeal I think I will wait until she is a bit older and just deal with the frequent eating for now.

As to my last post about Zunedownloads, after sending a threatening email to three different people I finally got a refund. I would have preferred the download and would still like to join but I don't trust that it won't happen again.

URGH!

Unlimited Zune Downloads! Paid for it, didn't get the download, can't get any customer service to help me. Stay away from them.

MC's Baptism

The whole family. In a circle starting from the left: JA-14, DH, KA-2mo, Me, JK-16, MA-11, MC-8, JK-2, SR-6

Isn't she beautiful! My little princess is growing up!

Can you believe

Pictures!!!!






JZ holding KA. This is his smile! LOL She's about 2 1/2 mo here.








Her new pretty. She is about 7 weeks old here










She is two days old here.

Sorry about the wierd format. I don't have a clue what I'm doing but at least they are up!

Huh, it's been a while. Amazing how fast time goes

Even though day by day time seems to drag on. I really, really need to get some pics on here. My sweet AC was baptized on the 6th of September! She was glowing all weekend and looked beautiful in her white dress. I will, for sure I promise, get a pic up of her on her baptism day. I also need to get some pics up of my sweet baby, who is now two months old! She is smiling and cooing now! I just love that little person! Then it was my cute SR's birthday. I have to admit I was all birthday partied out by the time I got to hers so we just met some friends at McDonalds for lunch. McDonalds is really icky, imho, but they are doing Wizard of Oz in their kids meals right now and have I mentioned how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Wizard of Oz? I have several dolls from last time but never did get a Wendy doll so I'm crossing my fingers this time.

My house is a wreck as usual. I'm getting sooo frustrated about it. I need life to slow down, a baby that doesn't feel like she needs to nurse every half hour, a dh that isn't doing so much over time and children that care more. Oh yeah, and my 35 million so I can have a maid! LOL Dh was awesome last night, though. I was exhausted and my back was killing me and baby just did not want to sleep. She nursed for forever but was just looking around at all the interesting things and was wide awake! Every time I tried to take her off she would have a fit. It used to be that I could fall asleep with a nursing baby but I can't anymore plus when I take meds I don't like sleeping with her so I wanted to move her to her bed next to me before I fell asleep. Anyway dh took her and fed her a bottle and stayed up with her until she finally fell asleep. I've been trying really hard to get her off that last bottle but occasionally it really is nice that she will take one!

I'm working on losing weight again. Post baby weight is lovely, isn't it? Got the eating down, mostly, had to give in on those chocolate dipped strawberries yesterday, now I just need to be able to get up early enough to get some walking in. I like walking best but maybe until it's easier to leave the house I ought to switch to aerobics. I could also try fitting it in in the afternoon since it is getting cooler now.

Sleepy baby!

Yep, you can be jealous of me! My baby sleeps between 8-10 hours a night! Sweet, huh! What do I do? Nothing. She just sleeps well at night. Sometimes she sleeps with me if I fall asleep nursing her and sometimes I move her to her bed next to me. Either way she still sleeps all night. Unfortunately, it's a trade off. She rarely sleeps more that 15-20 min during the day. Sometimes all of the stars are lined up just right and she will sleep an hour. Otherwise she is awake. Can't decide which is better. Sleep all night so I can get some good rest or sleep good during the day so I can get something done. Hum!

School starting and weight

School starts on Thursday. Actually, co-ops start Thursday. We aren't starting our school at home until Monday. We are sloooowly pulling our house back together after our adventurous summer. If things work out well we should have it all clean by Saturday and Monday we can begin our winter school schedule.

The boys are sooo excited to start school on Thursday. They are taking ballroom dance, Thomas Jefferson Youth Certification and Parliamentary Procedure. They both really wish they can take Shakespeare again but they are only allowed to take it two years and last year was their second year. I'm not sure they would have time for it anyway. The TJYC class is really going to kick their butts! In ballroom dance they will be learning how to do lifts with the girls. That should be fun! They have to start doing some arm exercise to build up their arms so they CAN lift the girls.

As for my girls, the oldest two will be taking a literature class, then the oldest will be taking a history class and two science classes. She will also start Girl scouts. The oldest two will also have Achievement Days for our church. MA will be very busy this year! Makes me wonder if I should be doing more for my SR. She isn't involved with anything. Maybe I can form a reading class or something for kids her age.

So, I know I'm only 6 weeks postpartum, but the weight is depressing me. I have never weighed as much postpartum as I do now. In fact the only time I've ever weighed as much as I do right now is while I've been pregnant. Someone mentioned that a relative gained a bunch of weight after they were put on blood thinners so I suspect that is why but it's still frustrating. I have got to do something about if for no other reason so that I can have some clothes to wear. I can't start a full exercise program yet but I think I'm going to start walking around the block. Then I'm going to add some more fruit, vegies and whole grains and try to eat only lean meat. Hopefully that will be a good start.

Tomorrow is AC's 8th birthday. She has been looking forward to this for a long time because it means she gets to be baptized into our church. We have a birthday party planned for her tomorrow and then she gets baptized on Saturday. Yay for her!