Checking in

I can't quite remember what I wrote about last except that I was talking about the nursing problems. I spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday pumping and resting with her skin to skin. She seemed to be doing well on just my milk so I didn't get dh to get any formula, although I considered it because we had a few super frustrating moments. I think I was more greatful that I didn't have any formula because it would have been very tempting to use it. By Sunday I could tell my supply had increased so I decided to not pump and see how she did on her own with no bottles or pumping. By Sunday night I could tell she was getting dehydrated again even though I knew I had an abundant supply so I decided I better get a better pump and find out why she wasn't nursing well enough to keep her well fed. I called a lactation consultant friend of mine and she gave me some suggestions and I contacted WIC and got an electric pump from them.
While I was at WIC they weighed her and their scale showed she had lost two pounds. I wanted to know for sure what she weighed so I stopped at her Drs office on the way home. She weighed 6 lbs 3.3 oz so she had lost 4 oz in 5 days. I decided I needed to be way more proactive about keeping her fed so I picked up an SNS on the way home.

This whole time, starting Monday morning, I was in a lot of pain in my back in my kidney area. I thought it was muscle spasms from sitting in wierd positions to get her latched on for too long so I started taking muscle relaxants and ibuprofen but everytime it wore off I had a hard time breathing. I couldn't lay down at all even with pain meds because it was so painful and I couldn't breathe. I spent all night Monday night awake either in pain, pumping, trying to get baby latched on or feeding her a bottle of formula (we just happened to get a sample in the mail that day, normally it would irritate me beyond belief. That night I was greatful!). Dh helped with the formula bottles so he didn't get any sleep either. Tuesday morning it was even worse so I decided I better see a dr. Since the muscle relaxants didn't stop the pain completely except when it was effective in my body I started thinking it was a kidney infection or stones. I went to the Dr and he quickly ruled out kidney pain and his very next thought was that it was either a blood clot in my lung or an amniotic embolism. He told me I had to go immediately to the hospital. I wasn't about to drive on the freeway in my condition so I drove to my friends house then we picked up dh on the way.

To make an already long story short, I had a ct scan when I got there and they found a blood clot in the bottom of my right lung. I spent the last two days in the hospital getting an anti-coagulant started and on heart monitors in case I passed another clot. Baby and dh stayed with me the whole time. I was really greatful for that because I knew I could be in there 5 days and the thought of being away from my baby that long about killed me. The hospital was so nice to take extra precautions so that baby wouldn't catch anything from the hospital staff. We had our own equipment for vitals, they put a sign on the door to remind people that we had a newborn and we didn't use anything again that had dropped on the floor. They borrowed a newborn cot, a pump and a stack of diapers from the maternity floor. I had to pump and dump for 24 hours so I was greatful, once again, for that can of formula. I was really nervous last night to try and nurse her again. I was worried after two days of bottles and an already bad latch that we were done nursing but she latched on once last night and twice today so I'm hopeful it will still work out.

I have to be on the anticoagulant for 6 months to a year. We are just all super greatful that the Lord has decided to keep me here for awhile longer! The crappiest part of it all? My postpartum bleeding had stopped last Saturday. Thinking it was a fluke I kept wearing pads. Yesterday I finally decided I was done for good and quit using pads. It start up again this morning! blech I'm pretty sure it's the anti coagulants so I'm wondering how long it's going to last.

Some have asked what they can do to help. It's still really hard to take care of baby when the pain meds wear off and I don't trust myself alone with her when I'm on the meds. Dh has to work tomorrow but I have a friend that is planning on spending the day with me. Depending on how I feel after the weekend I may need some more help of that type. My older kids are great but none of them feel very comfortable taking care of Kirstin yet. It hurts to walk and even though I'm supposed to walk I can only do it a little bit before I'm breathless and tired. The drs tell me the length of time that the pain lasts differs for everyone. For some it's only a few days, others it lasts weeks. Hopefully I am one of the lucky ones that only has it for a few days. I'm also spending a lot of time working on Kirstin's latch, pumping, then feeding her a bottle. My Mom has been out of town and will be home on Tuesday so if I need help it will only be Monday that I need it. It would also be helpful if someone could help me get a few batches of laundry into the wash.