As if I didn't have enough on my plate

Lets see, where to start? JA went in yesterday for his regular diabetic checkup and it's not good news. In spite of all the changes we've made and watching his blood sugar checks closer (obviously still not close enough) his average blood sugar (Aic) is still way too high (10.7). The Dr needs to know if he is getting the right amount of insulin and the only way to really do that is to put him in the children's hospital for a few days. We have to check in today after one and then he will be there until Thursday. As much as I would love to stay there with him the whole time I just can't imagine I will get much sleep on those lovely hospital beds with my big ol fat pregnant body! LOL So I will come home during the night and stay there all day.

Sunday, SR had a fever. Actually she was complaining first about a rash on her bottom. It didn't look like a diaper rash type of thing (she wears pullups at night) but I wasn't really sure what it was. She said she felt fine otherwise so we all got ready and went to church. As soon as we got there I realized she had a fever so dh brought her home (10yo was home sick, next story!). Monday I looked at the sores again and realized they looked like chicken pox. I still don't know for sure what it is because she only has the three on her bottom and she got them before the fever but they really look like what I remember cp looking like. Since we don't know for sure we are going to treat her as if she has it and take the proper precautions. I was concerned about putting JA in the childrens hospital but the nurse assured me that since he has been vaccinated they won't worry about it. I haven't a clue where she was exposed (to those who are wondering I didn't ever expose her on purpose like I considered. If it is cp obviously the Lord decided for me).

MA has a horrible raw throat with little white spots on it. She started up with a fever on Sunday and the sore throat has gotten to the point where she has quit eating. So I'm going to get her tested for strep today.

So this is my day. I need to take MA to the dr, get JA packed for the hospital and the rest of the kids packed for Grandma's, make some phone calls to make arrangements for the kids, call the midwife I'm working under to discuss situation, pick up prescriptions that my kids will run out of during hospital stay, take all the kids to Grandma's, drop JK and AC off at their classes and then head to the hospital. I won't mind the break at the hospital, though!

Someday I may

get around to keeping this blog current all the time. Someday my house may be clean again. Someday my fridge won't look like a science project Someday my girls won't have to borrow each others underwear or struggle to find something to wear because the laundry will be caught up. Someday I will be able to do a lot of things. Today and probably not any time soon will not be that day.

Yeah, I'm a bit discouraged. I had to miss prenatals again today. I am soooo not happy about it. I missed the last birth that came up, thank goodness it was a transfer (obviously not for the Mom but it did make me a little less bummed about it). If any births come up in the next few days I will probably have to miss it too. I went to a midwifery conference last Saturday. Loved it, had tons of fun, learned lots and came home feeling crampy with hugely swollen ankles. I let someone rub them for me knowing all along that it could cause problems but it felt heavenly and actually helped quite a bit. They went down a bit and I had to pee soon after (sorry TMI! LOL) Unfortunately the cramping started up within 1/2 hour and by the time I got home I was doubled over in pain and could barely walk. My family was at my Mom's celebrating JA's bday so I had to go there first when I really wanted to just go home. I had a quick bite to eat, we opened presents and ate cake then I got dh to drive us home and leave his car there.

Anyway, the cramping didn't stop until Wednesday, then the contractions started up. I ended up having to take terbutaline for the first time this pregnancy. I avoided it as long as I could cause I really hate how it makes me feel but after trying everything I could think of and contractions getting way too close together and painful it was time to do something different. Today is much better with just a bit of cramping and very few contractions. I told a friend today that I will spend a few more days down and then try to increase my activity and she said she thought those increased activity days were over. I know in my heart that is probably true but I'm soooo not happy about it. I'm still hanging on to the hope that I can keep going to births until the end of May.

I struggle a lot these days with anger. I struggle with not knowing what to do or where to go with my life. I want to make plans anyway and keep hoping but I'm slowly losing that hope. I want to ask a lot of why's but then I think why not? What makes me so special that I think I won't struggle. More than anything I don't trust any thought that I think might come from the Lord because that's why I'm in trouble now. I still have a basic strong testimony that God lives and He knows I exist but beyond that, I'm struggling.

I desperately need dh to go through storage and find maternity clothes for me and short sleeved clothes for the kids. Most of his evening are very busy, some days he doesn't get home until 7:30, then he spends the rest of the evening cooking dinner, running kids back and forth, doing laundry, going to the grocery store etc so I don't know when he will have time. His Saturday's end up getting filled up with other things that come up so I may just have to figure out how to do it without him. He is such a sweetheart, though, he never complains!

Sorry to complain so much. I will try to post some upbeat posts soon.

I can't believe how long it's been since I've updated!

Are you all wondering if I fell off the face of the world? LOL I'm still alive and kicking, just barely! LOL The surgery went well but it took me MUCH longer to recover than I thought it would. A week after the surgery I still couldn't sit up or walk for very long. Two weeks after I wasn't in pain but felt exhausted most of the time. It was three weeks after when I finally felt relatively normal. It was very worth it, though. I feel sooooo much better. I can eat just about anything without having problems. It took awhile for my digestion to normalize but it was still much better than before.

On Thursday I will be 20 weeks. Goes fast, doesn't it. The first 20 weeks are typically my easiest and they haven't been for the last two pregnancies, this one and the last one but I'm hoping the next 20 won't be a repeat of the last one. I've already had several days when I've had to stay down due to contractions so I'm not very hopeful.

Kids are doing great. JZ is a normal almost 2yo. I've never had a climber until now. I know, after 6 kids I should have had more than one but he is my first. I'm finding him on top of everything, even in our jetted tub that is nearly 4 feet high! Thank goodness there was no water in it! I caught him another time with a chair pushed up to the counter getting into the cookie jar.

Easter was fun. I was hoping for a nice family pic but JZ was sleeping. Maybe I will try again next Sunday. Everytime I turned around JZ had found another piece of candy from somebody's else's basket.

I think I've been trying to pass a kidney stone. When they did the scan for my gallbladder they said there was also a stone in my kidney and said if it wasn't bothering me than to not worry about it. I asked my sil what it was like for her and my symptoms sound similar to hers so maybe that quiet stone is now causing trouble for me. Yeah, I know, just what I need! LOL

I'm still going to births. I keep wondering if I will be able to do it much longer but the last few I've been to haven't needed much support from me so I mostly sit on the couch and read or chat with relatives with intermittent heart rate checks. I have now caught 6 babies and am up to 24 births total! Yay! Just need 16 more. If things go well I could be done by the middle of May. Thanks for checking in, Brandi, I loved being at your birth!

Surgery

Originally my surgery was scheduled for Feb 12th but the Dr called today and wants to do it tomorrow! No reason I can't except it's hard for me to change gears so suddenly but I am really excited that I don't have to deal with the pain for another week. I don't look forward to all the icky things that go along with surgery like the smell of the mask and the anesthesia, the horrible sore throat after the surgery, the tummy upset after the surgery and the weak feeling before from going too long without eating. Plus this week is better than next only because the kids won't have to miss a few activities that we thought they would.

I will let you all know as soon as I can how the surgery goes.

Update on Gallbladder

I saw the general surgeon on Monday. He was very hesitant to take out what could be a healthy gallbladder since we can't do the test that would definitively say whether or not it is my gall bladder that is causing me so much trouble. He was worried about putting me under anesthesia because of the risks to the pregnancy and wasn't sure it was worth the risk. He suggested that we try and wait it out and "nurse" me through the pregnancy, meaning when the pain becomes more than I can handle with the meds I have at home that I could go to the ER for more pain relief. He said it might occasionally even require a two or three day stay.

I told him that I have to have anesthesia anyway for the stitch and that I was not really thrilled about the wait and see approach. He decided to pencil me in a surgery date and then give me the opportunity to "think it over". One the way home I realized "Are you kidding me? Add more ER visits to the ones I could already potentially have because of this pregnancy? Right!" Normally I am against violating the body and and I like the idea of keeping all my organs unless absolutely necessary but occasionally I'm for the easy road out and in my opinion taking the small risks in order to avoid the extra hospital time is worth it.

Am I wrong? If you have some kind of cleanse or something that I can take that you are fairly certain won't harm the baby more than having the surgery, step up now! I have two weeks to change my mind.

Gallbladder problems

Not fun! It's been going on for 3 weeks now. Saturday night I had an episode that was more than I could handle and ended up in the ER. They gave me fentanol, checked to make sure my white count wasn't going up, checked the baby and sent me home. I talked to my Dr on Tuesday and told him I'm having 2-3 attacks a week and he said "We've got to get that thing out of you." Unfortunately he said we can't do it until 16 to 20 weeks, so 5 more weeks. We just have to pray it doesn't go septic before then. I have an appt with a GI Dr on Monday and I'm hoping he will tell me it can come out earlier.

It frustrates me because if I weren't pregnant I would do lots of cleanses and herbs to try and heal it myself but my hands are more tied being pregnant.

I met with an OB yesterday to decide if he will put a stitch into my cervix. I haven't liked the last two Dr's that did it so I decided this time it was going to be on my terms. I really liked him. He listened to my concerns and questions and didn't make me feel like I was a dumb pregnant woman that didn't know what I was talking about. He wants to coordinate the stitch surgery with the gallbladder surgery but likes to have the stitch put in before 14 weeks so hopefully the GI Doc will be willing to do it then too.

I will try and keep you updated.

JZ has something to show you

He doesn't look happy about it, does he. Unfortunately it was the best pic out of the bunch of pics taken. Yes, we were done and, yes, this was a surprise. Due Date is Aug 16, JK's 16th birthday.